Assuming you already know what you want, I want to tell you how to now get what you want.
Ask for it.
Ask for what you want. It is unreasonable to be angry with someone for not doing something you did not tell them you expected them to do. Expectations are pre-meditated resentments. Here is an example from my life. I expected my kids to put their dishes in the dishwasher after dinner. I never asked them to do this – I just expected it. Every time we got up from dinner, they put their plates on the kitchen counter and I put my anger into slamming the kitchen cabinets. See, I had an expectation – an unvoiced request. Once I say my expectation, if they agree – then we have an agreement. If they agree to put their plate in the dishwasher and don’t, then we can have a discussion. But if you don’t ask for what you want, how can you expect people to give it to you?
Ask for it – that is how you get what you want. It is that easy. And yet.
Surface Level Example
I was recently felt like I wanted a little more attention from Bixby and requested a bouquet of flowers from him. Of course I did this in a very efficient, Enneagram 1 manner – I put it on the grocery list before he went to the store. I was very specific in my ask. Here is my verbatim entry on our grocery list app:
Bouquet of flowers for Susan – include sunflowers, but not just sunflowers.
Lordy we are romantic, aren’t we? But check it out – it worked! It helped me to get what I want!
A Layer Deeper
I have a three strike rule. When something comes to my attention three times, I do it if at all humanly possible.
- After a movie or TV show comes to my awareness three times, I add it to the queue.
- If I needed a certain fabric or thread three times, I break down and buy it instead of looking for a different project.
- When I was on the fence about whether or not a Subaru was the right car for me, I saw it everywhere – way more than three times.
- If a book is discussed in something I am listening to or reading on three different occasions, I add it to my TBR.
I think this is the way the universe says, OK, Sue, let me help you get what you want.
This happened to a quote recently. The main character in a fiction book read the quote in his school textbook, then I saw it on social media, then it was the quote of the day in one of my daily devotionals. I give in! I accept this sign that action is needed to get what you want.
Here is the quote:
And then the day came
when the risk to remain
tight in a bud was
more painful than the
risk to bloom.Anais Nin
It takes courage to make the ask. But that ask is how you get what you want. Which leads me to my next ask.
I want to bloom. Specifically, I want to grow the Sustainable Sue business. I have been afraid to swing for the fences and I believe the universe has sent me this message so I can acknowledge that if I stay tight in this small space, it will keep being not what I want. So here I go:
I want to double my podcast listeners by August 1st and my email subscribers by September 1st. I need your help to do that.
- Hey – you know how I was struggling with cleaning the kitchen? I heard this great episode of a podcast my friend hosts. Here is the link – maybe it will help with your garage project?!
- Link: https://sustainablesue.com/14-2/
- A friend of mine is trying to grow her small business. Here is the link to her podcast and blog. Check it out and subscribe if you think it is helpful for you.
- Podcast link: https://sustainablesue.com/podcast/
- Essay link: https://sustainablesue.com/blog/
- Maybe this bad thing in your life is actually an opportunity to take advantage of extra time to help recover from the burnout you have. Running on empty, burning the candle at both ends is not something you can continue long term. Check out my friend’s website – she has great messages and resources that can help you.
- Website link: https://sustainablesue.com
Thank you for being a supporter of the Sustainable Sue business. Now let’s go get what we want – a life we don’t need to escape!