I am posting this a day early because today is my birthday!! I am 48 years old!!
Genay and I talked all things celebratory this week on the podcast, and I hope you will take a listen.
But I also want to build on that discussion with you here.
Stop relying on other people to celebrate you. See if any of these scenarios resonate with you:
- You are mad no one got you the gift you wanted. The gift you hinted at for weeks!
- You feel alone because you get balloons for your kids every year on their birthday, but those assholes don’t even wish you happy birthday as you drive them around to activities all day.
- Your friend offered to buy lunch for you and did not insist after you turned her down.
Stop being a martyr and celebrate your damn self.
If that feels like a bridge too far, consider this – let others celebrate you. Using our above examples, let’s explore what this could look like.
- Buy the gift for yourself or send the link to your Special Someone and ask them to buy this for you.
- Tell your kids it is your birthday on the day it is your birthday. I use something like this, “Today is my birthday, I am accepting all well wishes. Wanna tell me happy birthday now or in 10 minutes?” In 10 minutes return to them expectantly.
- Let her buy you lunch!!!
Does this all seem desperate and needy? Let me offer a flip of a script for you – if you want to be celebrated, let people celebrate. Don’t make them read your mind. Especially your kids – can you imagine if they REALLY knew what you thought?
I can understand if you still want them to do all of this without the prompting. How is that working for you? This does not seem like the reality that you are living. You cannot get blood from a turnip. This does not mean they don’t love you. This does not mean you are unworthy of celebrating. This means they are not you. You can help them with expectations.
Or you can let go of those expectations. I do a little of both.
Celebrate your damn self.
For my birthday, I bought myself a new sewing machine, took myself on a birthday bike ride (you can see more about that on Facebook or Instagram), and asked for a specific meal to be made for me. I pretended the meal the kids came over for was for me, not for Bixby’s Father’s Day celebration. I appreciate those who do reach out to celebrate with me, not focus on those that don’t. I acknowledge I’m sad about those missing from the celebration, but that is not a reflection on me. This is a Sustainably Productive birthday strategy that works for me.
What would make it oh so extra special is if you would share this episode of the podcast or this newsletter with a friend who you think might be interested.
Until next time, friends… Find the connection that helps create a life that you don’t need to escape.
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