Mental health is just as important as physical fitness. There are two sides to mental health, and both are equally important: what weighs heavily on your mind and what puts wind in your sails.

Many of us share common mental stressors – time, money, work, emotions, and relationships. Ironically it can be too little or too much of each of these that causes stress. While we are never going to eliminate stress, we can address what do we do to manage it and its affect on our health.

As many humans as exist in the world, there exists as many combinations of answers to mental health concerns. For most diagnosis, medication and talk therapy has been proven to be the best practice. I am not trained as a mental health professional in any way. The information provided here is simply to be a resource for conversations about what has worked to help manage the stressors above to bring joy and lightness to my life and to hear what works for other. To make the daily grind something not just palatable, but something we can look forward too. Some of these ideas might be meditation, learning, or hobbies.

Thermacell Lanterns

This post is the first of a new series: Life Savers. It is based on the the Barbara Brown Taylor quote that Jen Hatmaker paraphrases on her podcast. The question is this:

What is saving your life right now?

Barbara Brown Taylor

Yep, such a big, meaty question and the answer is a lantern. But not just ANY lantern, Bob! This lantern gives me HOURS of time in my favorite space with one of my favorite people during my favorite time of the year. Let me explain…

Warm weather is my favorite season. I know that is not a traditional season, but in the South, seasons are untraditional. From April to October in North Carolina I would love to eat all meals outside (even lunch in August when our porch feels like the surface of the sun). I want to read out there. I want to write out there. I want to nap out there. I want to grow my plants and flowers out there. I want to throw the ball for Lucille out there.

… and Lucille wants me to throw the ball for her out there!

But I also love my husband and want to spend a couple minutes of each day with him. But alas, bugs also love him and want to spend *all* the minutes with him. And devour him. So each evening we would shovel our dinner quickly, then he would run inside to avoid bugs. But with this lantern, we can stay out for HOURS. Seriously. I was skeptical and insisted we borrow a friend’s Thermacell first to try it out because it sounded too good to be true. One night we hung out after work on the porch, ate dinner on the porch, forced The Boy to do his homework on the porch, then worked on our individual projects on our laptops on the porch. HOURS of joy!

I don’t really understand how it works, but it really does – even my husband the mosquito magnet agrees. Another bonus is that there is no open flame, no smoky candles. This is important to me because I am clumsy (open flame – yikes) and have asthma (candles and incense – wheeze). We bought refill cartridges when we bought it and replace them every 15-20 hours. And its $30 bucks. It is saving my life right now, making life sustainable.

What barriers are keeping you from doing what you love? Let’s talk about solutions to get you heading towards making life sustainable!

By |2019-05-20T17:13:23-04:00May 22nd, 2019|Mental Well-being|0 Comments

Quitters DO Win Sometimes!

I often have people talk to me about abandoning books. I have no shame in my DNF (Did Not Finish) game. I am not afraid to abandon a book and encourage you to look at why you would not stop doing something that was not lighting you up. Life is too short to read books that do not put wind in your sails just as life is too short to stay friends with energy vampires and life is too short to wear jeans that are too tight.

Quit Abandoned Books

It is not that it is a bad book. Despite what James Joyce said, I do not believe there are bad books. I can appreciate how hard an author works on a book and to call it bad just seems like a big kick in the pants. I hope anyone reading what I write will give me grace when something I write doesn’t land with them.

It is hard to abandon books that critics and the public RAVE about. Sometimes I think it is the chapter of life I am in vs. where the author was when he was writing. More often I just decide I am different than everyone else and move onto the next book in the stack.

Let’s talk numbers though. I do believe in skipping the rating if I have not finished a book. I would not want to bring down the average rating for an author if I have not finished a book. I have a specific shelf in Goodreads for DNF books so that I can make sure they do not count in my annual book statistics.

Tell me all your thoughts and opinions about DNFing!

By |2019-12-12T19:10:38-05:00May 21st, 2019|Mental Well-being|0 Comments

Odd Interlude – Dean Koontz

Rating: 3 stars

Cliff Notes: Little too sci-fi for me to be super interested.

Full Summary: I wanted to be friends with Odd Thomas after reading the first book of the series. So when I saw a bunch of books in the Odd Thomas series at the book sale, I snatched them up. This book is number 4.5 in the series – yes, 4.5.

Apparently Odd Interlude was originally a 3-part digital series that did not get published. Some speculate that Dean Koontz had a wee bit of writer’s block so he noodled around with these ideas while writing other books, which is why it is 4.5. The 3-part digital series appears to be published in 2013.

By |2019-12-12T19:35:07-05:00May 20th, 2019|Mental Well-being|0 Comments

On the Come Up – Angie Thomas

Rating: 3 stars

Cliff Notes: Audiobook narrated by Bahni Turpin – who IS AMAZING

Full Summary: I really liked The Hate U Give and waited for On the Come Up for a few months through the library. The story is one that is important to hear, specifically how the system seems to work against those who are trying to get out of it. I got bogged down by the YA-ness of it. Maybe Angie Thomas will write the backstory of Aunt Poo.

Side note – As some of you know, when I listen to audiobooks, I listen at double speed. There are several sections of this book where Bri raps. I did crack up a few times listening to rapping double speed. Listener beware and all….

On the Come Up Angie Thomas
By |2019-12-12T19:35:29-05:00May 19th, 2019|Mental Well-being|0 Comments

Fridays in the Warm Weather Months

Flowers in pot

Often on Fridays during warm weather months you will find me taking my work conference calls outside. Even when it is hot as the surface of the sun, here in the shade of the umbrella it is one of my favorite places to be. Barriers to completing tasks seem smaller and emails seem fewer and shorter when this is my view.

By |2019-11-30T16:39:48-05:00May 17th, 2019|Mental Well-being|0 Comments

Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim – David Sedaris

Rating: 3 stars

Cliff Notes: Classic David Sedaris. What I find funny I laugh out loud and read it to everyone around me. What I don’t find funny really misses its mark. Great get for $2 and book sale last week.

Full Review: What really makes a David Sedaris book better is having heard his voice. I first heard his voice when he read some of his essays and did other work for This American Life on NPR. He has a specific tone and cadence that seems to give no effs about whatever it is he is reading – whether it is his sister’s mental health issues, his sexuality, or what he is eating for dinner. And often that makes his essays that much funnier. I strongly encourage you to find somewhere to hear him read his stuff, then (re)read any of his books. You will not be disappointed.

Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim David Sedaris memoir non fiction humor
By |2019-05-16T19:26:27-04:00May 16th, 2019|Mental Well-being|0 Comments

Digital Organizing – Books, part 3

Parts 1 and 2 showed how to use the scanner to add the books to our TBR, and what to do when that goes awry. The next step I do is to mark them as books I own so that if I want to loan it out or give it away after talking about it with someone, I have a quick reference. Also, there are times when I am grounded from the library and book store (maybe Bixby will need to do a guest post about that). If I know what books I have in the house, my “Read My Shelves” blitz is a little easier to organize and carry out.

Note: Currently the instructions outlined here are only available on the desktop version of Goodreads, not on the mobile app.

Click on the “My Books” section of Goodreads and you will see the screen below. On the right most column, you will see “edit / view” as in the blue circle below.

After we click “edit,” you will see lots of options for adding details about your book. Below you will see how I edited Goodreads to indicate I own Letter to my Daughter by Maya Angelou.

At the bottom of the screen, you will see a box next to “I own a copy of this book.” Click that box.

After you click the box next to “I own a copy of this book” you will see the screen below. I generally do not fill these boxes in because my plan is to not keep my books unless I LOVE LOVE LOVE them. No sense for me to spend the time entering these details if I will just give the book away. These details do not help me choose books to read or rate them.

Also note you see the box is checked next to “Add to my update feed” at the bottom. If this is a book you do not want others to know you are reading (in case you are reading a book about how to fire your hairdresser and you don’t want her to find out), uncheck this box and it will not be posted to your feed or the weekly summary email others receive about what you are reading.

Then click “Save” and repeat the same for each of the books you own.

This process may seem time intensive and laborious to some of you. That means it is not something that is a high priority for you and not something to spend your time on. That is ok. I am here to give you permission to NOT do this if it does not put wind in your sails. If it does not help you retrieve books in a way that will help you save time.

Let me know how this works for you or if you have other tips and tricks!

By |2019-05-14T09:46:27-04:00May 16th, 2019|Mental Well-being|0 Comments

Little Ray of Sunshine

Morning sun on flowers makes me so happy

Yesterday morning I was GRUMPY. Not just wearing the Grumpy Pants, but the whole jumpsuit. I was slamming and stomping around to notify my people that I was grumpy, but no one was responding to me or rushing to my side to soothe me. I grabbed my work bag and turned around to get my water bottle and saw this view. I swear I have never seen the sun come through the window like this. I just loved it, and it was so beautiful I had to grab a pic.

A better housekeeper would not have had a pile of papers on the counter in the background. A better photographer would have framed the photo better – note the Instant Pot lid on the left and the janky paper towels off the roll on the right. Today I am neither a good housekeeper nor good photographer, and that is ok because you know what – neither of those people has this photo and I do. And now so do you. Namaste.

Where can you look for the beauty in the the mundane? What in your daily lives can bring you joy? Don’t sweat the small stuff, but do notice the small stuff.

By |2019-11-30T16:38:31-05:00May 15th, 2019|Mental Well-being|0 Comments

Harvesting the Heart – Jodi Picoult

Rating: 5 stars

Cliff Notes: Alternating point of view is a favorite style of mine. I don’t need a huge twist to enjoy this author. The ending was very satisfyingly ambiguous.

Full Review: One thing all reviewers of this book will agree on is that it is not like the other ones. And really, people – if all of her books were similar you would be ranting about a cookie cutter approach. It is OK to think a character is whiny and not want her to get what she wants. It is ok for a character to change her mind and grow within a book – even if it not how you would have grown.

I just enjoy listening to someone else’s story. I don’t need to try to figure it out ahead of time or have the characters do what I would have done. Books are an escape for me and that is why I enjoy reading this.

By |2019-12-12T19:35:48-05:00May 14th, 2019|Mental Well-being|0 Comments

The Sweet By and By – Todd Johnson

Rating – 3 stars (would have done 3.75 if Goodreads allowed partial stars).

Cliff Notes – This was a sweet little book that round house kicks you in the head with its turn of phrase when you are not looking. North Carolina author.

Full Review – I admire when a male author can nail a female point of view so well. Would have rated higher but it just got wordy when it didn’t need to be. Some of the phrases from the characters were just gut punches and I loved them.

“Mother’s grief was a well that dried up so slowly that it eventually became useless to her, meaning that it had run it course and no longer had a purpose.” 

“The only exceptions for which we turn our heads, offer no understanding, and willingly excommunicate all offenders are sickness and aging. We can tolerate neither so we do our best to obliterate both. Poverty could also be on that list, although at least money and resources can remedy that. But as Mama always says, ‘I don’t care you who you are, Sick and Old are coming to see you whether you invite em or not.’

By |2019-12-12T19:36:12-05:00May 13th, 2019|Mental Well-being|0 Comments
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