Susan Sanders, Author at Sustainable Sue

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So far Susan Sanders has created 349 blog entries.

Managing Expectations

Managing expectations is a topic I can’t stop thinking about or talking about since we recorded episode 41 of the Conscious Contact podcast a few weeks ago. I had a few more thoughts about it after recording that I wanted to share here. You can listen to the episode at this link.

The reason that managing expectations is so important is that unvoiced expectations are premeditated resentments. This leads to anger and all sorts of damage to relationships. Important in the Sustainable Sue framework – unvoiced expectations do not meet the criteria of Sustainable Productivity.

Is this Productive – are you getting the result you want?

Is this Sustainable – can you maintain this lifelong if you choose?

Let’s look at managing expectations with ourselves and each other a little closer.

Internal Expectations

These are the expectations we have of ourselves. This could appear in unlimited ways depending on where we are in life and how spiritually fit we are that day. Here is a sneak peek into some of my unrealistic internal expectations.

I can still play full court 5 on 5 basketball.
I should be able to “do it all”.
A good mother would have her children at the extended family Thanksgiving.
If I was a better project manager I could get people to complete their tasks on time.
The pants will fit.
Real authors would have finished the book proposal by now.
Adult women know how to put an outfit together / put on make up / do their hair (ponytails don’t count).

You can see my brain is a busy place. Not necessarily a friendly place. The origins of these expectations is a topic for another day because today we are talking about managing expectations. What to do when these internal expectations pop up.

While I am not an expert by any stretch, I would like to share what sometimes works for me – it is a work in progress for sure. I call this real me vs ideal me.

Real Me vs. Ideal Me

Here is a simple tool that I use when I recognize an internal expectation is rearing its head. I simply ask myself which Sue would this apply to – Real Me or Ideal Me. While it is good to have a self to strive for, when it becomes inflated into something that is unrealistic, it can become detrimental and toxic to your mental health.

“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.”
Arthur Ashe

A way to consider this that is more Sustainably Productive is to make small adjustments to get where you want to be instead of expecting you to be there now. An example might provide some clarity here. Luckily we have a long list of unrealistic internal expectations already drafted.

Ideal me would already have a completed book proposal. Welp, I don’t. If I just sit in this “failure” and grieve the missing book proposal that still gets approximately zero words down. That unrealistic internal expectation of being “ideal” is not working and is not sustainable. This is where I sat for about a decade. It is really sucky.

Then I started to make small, sustainable adjustments to write these weekly messages, then started time blocking an hour each week to focus solely on book proposal writing. That is not always a pretty hour. Sometimes each word is hard earned. But the commitment is to dedicate the hour to that project. I don’t have to write, but I can’t do anything else. So I end up writing.

This can apply to every component to Sustainable Productivity.

Ideal me would have a clutter free house.
- Adjustment: Real me spends 15 minutes every Saturday and Sunday morning sorting a purging something (a drawer, a shelf, a pile on the counter)
Ideal me would stay off social media.
- Adjustment: Real me sets a timer to read a book for 10 minutes, then to scroll social media for for 10 minutes. You get the best of both and maybe you start to shift the balance away from social media. Or not!

For me managing internal expectations comes easier than managing external expectations. It might be the fact I am an Upholder (see Gretchen Rubin’s 4 Tendencies Framework). But I don’t live the life of a hermit (yet) so I am learning to manage external expectations.

I will share a little more about that next time in Part 2 of Managing Expectations!

By Susan Sanders|2022-12-06T08:42:40-05:00December 6th, 2022|Mental Well-being|0 Comments

Holiday Decorating the SusPro Way

Holiday decorating is a great example of how all three dimensions of Sustainable Productivity (SusPro) intersect. First of all decorating is not my strength. If it were up to me I would dress myself and my house in Garanimals type combinations that are easy to figure out. I don’t feel much joy in the process of decorating and I am not good at it – which actually is a pretty good combination.

Well, it is a good combination if I accept this. When I am not spiritually fit and I try to keep up with shoulds and Real Simple magazine ads, this is where I fall into unsustainable and non productive. I need to clarify here, I like to have holiday decorating done, but I don’t like to do it or make decisions about it.

In our house we put the tree up the weekend after Thanksgiving. Since it is on my mind right now I thought I would give you a sneak peek into how I keep holiday decorating Sustainably Productive in all three SusPro dimensions.

Watching the movie “Elf” after putting up the tree is one of my favorite traditions.

Health and Fitness Dimension

SusPro Question: What can I physically manage?

I have zero interest in spending my energy hauling bin after bin down rickety attic pull down stairs and then another flight of stairs dodging Lucille. I accept I only have a finite amount of energy. I want to spend it doing things that light me up, not holiday decorating.

Mental Well-being Dimension

SusPro Question: What do I have time for?

See above – it is not bin hauling. What I know about myself is that I have about a 2-hour tolerance for holiday decorating. I love having our adult kids home putting their janky macramé ornaments on the tree. I love Lucille looking so hopeful that we finally agree to follow her lead and bring trees inside. I love holiday music playing with the fireplace on (even if it is 65 in North Carolina).

I love all of that until I don’t. Then I want to be done. I don’t want to let it linger for days.

Lucille also does not want the bins to linger.

Environmental Surroundings

SusPro Question: What brings the mood, vibe I am going for?

Do you want cheery? Peaceful? Welcoming? Cozy? While the environment can be each of these things independently and there might be some overlap, trying to meet cheery and peaceful in the same settings on the playlist could be a challenge. Same with amount and color of lights on the tree. Ditto for how many trees you put up.

On the Conscious Contact Podcast episode 42, Genay talked about her vision for the house they are building – she wants multiple trees in her house. My sister does the same thing. The idea of cleaning up pine needles from more than one location in our home is not SusPro for me.

Did you catch that part? For me. Sure you probably share your space with someone else at least part of the holiday season. But starting with where you are, identifying what is and is not working, then making adjustments will get you the SusPro holiday decorating experience you deserve.

This time of year is hectic enough without adding to it yourself. Make holiday decorating work for you instead of it driving you to want to escape the whole season.

Sustainable You Questions

What can I physically manage?
What do I have time for?
What sights, sounds, smells, etc. bring the mood I am going for?

If this weekly essay resonated with you, please share it with a friend. I am trying to grow Sustainable Sue and spread the ideas of Sustainable Productivity. The best way to do that is for you to share with someone you know. I am ever grateful.

By Susan Sanders|2022-11-29T07:27:08-05:00November 29th, 2022|Sustainable Productivity|0 Comments

I quit.

As an early Thanksgiving gift to all loyal Sustainable Sue followings, I offer this message of thanks and gratitude.

This is a message about quitting.

The Yesterday Sue that drafted that Fall Fun List is not the same Today Sue that sits here writing this. Isn’t this always how it happens with goals and plans? Recently on the Conscious Contact podcast we talked about Motivation vs. Determination (spoiler: one gets you started and one keeps you going). Then we talked about Quitting (spoiler: I am in favor of it).

Prepping for and recording both of these episodes brought to mind several things that apply to this Fall Fun List. But first I want to recap where we are with this whimsical exercise.

Fall Fun Recap

The original plan poked up its head in September, and I asked you for your suggestions. After considering my time, energy, preferences, and budget I landed on five things that seemed simple at the time.

I posted updates about progress here and here. Then I traveled to the Pacific Northwest for work for 7 days for a somewhat last minute trip. When I planned the Fall Fun List, I thought for sure that the trip was going to be cancelled.

When we returned from the trip, most of the leaves had turned. Then hurricane remnants came through and leaf peeping season was over.

I still want to get more time around the fire pit, but the weather took that weird North Carolina turn and went from 75 to 29 in one day. I need to get brave enough to sit out there.

SusPro Adjustment

Let’s swing these results around to view from a Sustainable Productivity (SusPro) lens. Rarely do plans work out the way we want. Why do we continue to have the unreal expectation that they will if we just apply our iron will?

Plans are worthless. Planning is everything.
dwight d. Eisenhower

So my SusPro adjustment is to quit. I am putting a stopper on the Fall Fun List. Not a pause, a stop. I am finished with that. I quit. And it feels final and complete, not like a failure. Maybe I will try again next year. Maybe there will be other fun things I want to try instead.

The point is that hanging onto tasks, goals, and plans just to be stubborn is not productive – it is not getting me the joy of doing these things. Sure there is value in perseverance, but I will save that for important things like writing my book proposal and getting my last 3 work projects across the finish line before the end of the year. Not forcing myself to try to control Mother Nature to stop raining so I can have a fire pit to cross something off the list.

Sustainable Productivity Questions

What is something on your to do list that you are stubbornly hanging onto?
What is keeping that item on your list and what would it be like to cross it off or just let it go?

By Susan Sanders|2022-11-15T09:43:22-05:00November 22nd, 2022|Sustainable Productivity|0 Comments

Purpose of Hobbies

Sometimes the purpose of hobbies is not the actual project. As fall 2022 hands off to the season of ALL HOLIDAY ALL THE TIME, I wanted to share a hobbies round up. As I started to write up the recap, I realized I was talking about more than the hobbies. I was talking about the purpose of the hobbies.

For those of you new here – or a refresher for Sustainable Productivity veterans – hobbies are a component of the Mental Well-being dimension of Sustainable Productivity. If you never unplug, your mental, physical, and emotional batteries drain until you don’t have energy to give yourself and your people.

Hobbies help us recharge. You can read more about hobbies and Sustainable Productivity here and here.

Side note: One of my favorite hobbies is reading. Today’s round up does not touch on reading. To see more about what I am reading you can go here and here.

In order to help keep myself accountable, I share regularly about what I have in progress. Hobbies are not just something to pass the time. They each have a purpose or lesson or maybe even job to do for me. During this literal and proverbial season in my life, hobbies fall into a few categories that I wanted to share with you. Maybe you have not related to the hobby itself, but you can relate to what I am getting from the hobbies.

Solace

“Art is to console those who are broken by life.” Vincent Van Gogh

I am a card carrying member of the sandwich generation. We parent two young adults, and although my dad is 700 miles away, I am involved almost daily in his life as his health is declining. This is a hard spot to be in. I see mistakes I made with my own kids – wishing it could be different and trying to accept what is. I see my dad not being the robust, sharp man he used to be – wishing it could be different and trying to accept what is.

It is enough to break me some days. But art gives me solace. This particular project I’m working on now uses my dad’s old ties. When we cleared out his closet prepping for a big move last year, I pulled them out of the donations box when he wasn’t looking. This was a purely sentimental, selfish move. And I am not sorry about it. I am creating Christmas gifts for the girls in our family from his ties and will have plenty left over for a quilt project in the coming years.

Immersing myself in the art of this hobby is a way to wrap myself in whatever feelings I have. Acknowledge them, feel them, sometimes process them. But sometimes I want to do the opposite and ignore them. Which is where the next purpose of hobbies comes in.

Learning

Learning a new technique, hobby, or skill requires me to pay attention to what I am doing. No multitasking with Netflix or audiobooks. I can’t field text conversations about Medicare donut holes while I am in a class with other hobbyists.

This is what I love about learning – a reprieve. Also a chance to fire up a different part of my brain. Here is a photo of a pillow top that I recently made in a class at my local quilt shop. There were dozens of small pieces that came together to make the pillow top – easy to mix up. The pattern was complex – a show stopper to mix up all those small pieces. Plus I learned to make a pillow or to recover the pillows I already have or find in a shop that might need a new life.

The benefit of learning through a hobby is a super focused distraction. But sometimes I don’t want to be focused or emotional. I just want an escape from the daily grind. Which is the third purpose of hobbies.

Escapism

Sometimes I just want to check out and follow instructions for a hobby or just connect with others about the common interest we have.

This summer Bixby, Daughter and I attended a glass blowing demo where the artist led us through how to do it ourselves. I was not learning it, just doing what George Anne told me to do. The result was beautiful hummingbird feeders.

I have returned to making sweet potato bread more weekends than not. Now that I have the pan and oven situation sorted, it is back to being a fun hobby. I am following the instructions, puttering around the kitchen – often while Bixby is making dinner, and connecting with what I eat (vs. opening a package).

As I write this I am seeing that all three of these categories are feeding into a fourth purpose of hobbies that might potentially be the most important.

Connection

“You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.” Plato

Connection with others is an untended purpose of hobbies for me. I love to anyone who will listen how much I don’t need other people.

And yet.

Authentic connection with others is what helps me – and I would suggest all of us – create a life that we don’t want to numb out and escape from.

If we look at the first three categories of purpose of hobbies – solace, learning, escapism – there is a thread of connection.

Solace – I am feeling my feelings about my kids and dad. Connection comes through art projects for the kids from my dad’s ties.
Learning – Connecting with others who share my interests.
Escapism – Sure sometimes I might make the bread alone in the kitchen. But what makes a stronger impression is when I share the space with Bixby or have a recipient in mind for the bread.

Sustainable You Questions

What hobbies do you keep coming back to time and again?
Look beyond the surface – what are you getting out of these hobbies? What is the purpose of the hobbies?
How can you increase or extend this in other areas of your life?

By Susan Sanders|2022-11-08T10:07:19-05:00November 15th, 2022|Mental Well-being|0 Comments

Fall Fun List – A New Recipe

I tried a new recipe a couple weeks ago. A little background before the big reveal. This is a quick update on the Fall Fun List.

I have been inspired by the current season of the Great British Baking Show (except for Mexican Week – what a dumpster fire that was) to return to the kitchen. But only for baking a very specific recipe: Cinnamon and Spice Sweet Potato Bread by Averie Cooks. I used to make this all the time. I gave it away as gifts and even the kids liked it (they were grade schoolers at the time). Then we moved to a new house and I could NOT get the settings right on the new oven.

The more Bixby tried to help me, the more pissed off I got. So I just quit making it.

Weirdly, that did not help me dial in the settings AT ALL.

Earlier this fall I returned to the kitchen, mastered the settings. Hint: Glass dishes bake veeeeery differently than metal.

Then came the Fall Fun List and trying a new fallish recipe seemed like a good idea. The contender that I put up against the champion sweet potato bread was Chocolate Pumpkin Bread from Two Peas and Their Pod.

Gorgeous bread is a photo from Two Peas and Their Pod website, not the actual loaf I made (but thanks for the confidence in my baking).

While the recipe itself was fine, it was more chocolatey than pumkiny. On the surface that is a win, but the intent was a fallish recipe. Since the pumpkin did not come through, it did not really hit the mark.

But overall, I am glad I tried it. And I am glad to have my trusty standby Sweet Potato Bread back in the mix.

What about you? Do you have any favorite fallish recipes?

By Susan Sanders|2022-11-01T08:24:52-04:00November 8th, 2022|Habit Change|0 Comments

A Good List

I love a good list, I am the daughter of two educators, and these phenomena are colliding this week. The result is a list of 7 good things in my life right now (A Good List, if you will), highlighting where they fit into the concepts around Sustainable Productivity.

I am trying to practice what I preach by whittling out the things that are not working for me and I could not continue lifelong.

The Good List

1 – Paul, Lucille | Relationships component of Mental Well-being dimension

These two are my ride or die, as the kids say. Loneliness has a greater impact on health than even heart disease which highlights the importance of relationships in our lives. These two bring me lots of joy.

This is the view from the desk in my office. I am not sure how I get work done with all this cuteness around.

Speaking of cuteness! This is a coffee shop close to our house. We stopped after a Sunday morning hike recently.

2 – Books | Hobbies component of Mental Well-being dimension

I had a streak in October where I had 8 books going at once. Most of these were non-fiction and it got to be a little too much. I did a bit of “deck clearing” where I waited until I finished everything to start new books, which is unusual for me. But this change of pace was just what I needed.

3 – Hot yoga | Exercise component of Health and Fitness dimension

Hot yoga at Dancing Dog Yoga in Greensboro is helping me hold off another cortisone shot in my knee. As the weather cools off the heat in the room (95-105 degrees) really helps me stretch safely and the power flow has really increased my strength. Part of my seasonal adjustments to exercise will be to add another day of hot yoga since I am less likely to ride my bike.

4 – Fiber crafts | Hobbies component of Mental Well-being dimension

Makoto Fujimura is an artist who embraces the art as a “slow act of making as sacred work.” This really resonates with me related to fiber crafts that I have been working on lately. It takes a long time to knit a pair of socks – especially to get them right. I made 5 pair of socks over the course of a year, and they gradually improved. There really is not a way to rush it. I can only knit as fast as I am able. And that is enough. And enough is sacred these days.

5 – Learning | Hobbies component of Mental Well-being dimension

Between trying to grow the Sustainable Sue business and the Conscious Contact podcast, I have spent a lot of time learning new things in recent months. I can almost feel wrinkles forming in my brain – and I love it! There is nothing better than tinkering with ideas and seeing them come to life (see previous comment: I am the daughter of 2 educators). Here are a few highlights:

Open Broadcaster Software (OBS) – this will help me lead more effective online courses and video content
Video podcasting – Genay and I launched our video podcast last month
Building out the Sustainable Sue YouTube channel – This has been a really interesting combination of creativity, marketing and technical skills.

6 – Travel | Hobbies component of Mental Well-being dimension

Last week I had to travel for work to the Pacific Northwest. Bixby, my emotional support animal, came with me. We traveled to three cities in 7 days – Portland, Yakima, and Seattle. We ate incredible food, tucked into more than our fair share of coffee and desserts, and saw inspiring views.

Last coffee at our favorite shop – Caffe Vita in Queen Anne area of Seattle

7 – Coming home | Rest component of Environmental Surroundings dimension

While I do love to travel, MAN DO I LOVE TO COME HOME. I love my bed, my office, the Soda Stream machine, and my routines.

You will see that the list is heavy on the Mental Well-being dimension. This has always been the hardest part of wellness for me. This is usually where I turn first when I am feeling wonky and try to make adjustments. That might not be your first choice, but what is important is that you know where to focus first.

Sustainable You Questions

What is saving your life right now?
How could you share that with others?
List three ways you could get more of that in your life in the coming months.

I would love to hear what is on your Good List. Reply to this message or come find me on Instagram or Facebook.

By Susan Sanders|2022-10-31T09:05:39-04:00November 1st, 2022|Sustainable Productivity|0 Comments

Closet Clutter

I cannot even with this closet clutter.

There are 54,879 tennis balls in this closet and no one that currently lives in our home is playing tennis these days. For nine months of the year I don’t even care about this clutter cave. But the other 3 months of the year I need to get a coat and gloves. It sucks my will a little bit every time I go in there. It is not nice to look at nor functional. This is the opposite of Sustainable Productivity.

Until recently.

Remember the time lapse habit tip from a few weeks ago about writing? Check out the time lapse video of my declutter session – it kept me accountable to not being distracted by all those dumb tennis balls! You can watch the time lapse declutter session at this link. If you like what you see, I would greatly appreciate it if you would subscribe to the YouTube channel while you are there and share with a friend.

Sustainable You Questions

What decluttering project is taunting you?
What day in the next week can you set a timer for 15 minutes to do a small step forward on this project?

If you like what you read, you might like what you hear. Subscribe to the Conscious Contact podcast on iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you find podcasts.

By Susan Sanders|2022-10-18T09:04:38-04:00October 25th, 2022|Environmental Surroundings|0 Comments

Nature Break

When pro cyclists have to pee they call, “Nature Break!” and the whole peloton pulls over to wiz in a field.

This is not that type of Nature Break.

This Nature Break is a pause in your day sponsored by Mother Nature. And Cheryl Strayed’s mom.

Here is the wisdom that Cheryl Strayed’s mom shared with her:

Every day put yourself in the way of beauty.
Bobbi Lambrecht

Here is a collection of beauty for your Nature Break today:

Imagine how pretty we appear to others when we are transitioning too.

Is it just me or does it seem like there are a zillion more acorns this year? One bounced off my helmet while I was riding my bike and it sounded like I was being shot at.

I will close this Nature Break with these wise words from Aristotle, not quite as wise at Cheryl’s mom, but close:

In all things of nature there is something of the marvelous.
Aristotle

By Susan Sanders|2022-10-16T07:53:50-04:00October 20th, 2022|Mental Well-being|0 Comments

Fall Fun Check In

I thought it might be helpful to run this Fall Fun Check In like a SusPro Continuous Improvement session. Yep – that is why I don’t get invited to parties – this is my idea of a good time.

Just to catch up any newcomers, the Fall Fun List is where I am trying to add more fun and whimsy to my life. See previous sentence for my idea of a good time, and you can understand why adding fun and whimsy to my life might be needed. You can read more about what is on the list at this post.

The SusPro Continuous Improvement session is where we use Sustainable Productivity (SusPro) steps to make incremental adjustments to reach the target. You can read the background on this at this post, but we will be following the 3-step approach today.

Step 1: Record the Result

The habit change I am making is to have more fun so I made a list. At the end of the week I looked at my result – I had completed one item on this list: Leaf walk with no device.

I was not recording time or distance. Just whether or not I did it. Boom checkmark in the box.

Full Disclosure: I cheated a bit. I did have my phone in my pocket for the hike, but I did not take it out to take pictures, check messages, add groceries to the list, or submit reminders. None of these activities was peepin’ leaves, which was the intention.

That is all there is to this step – one item complete. Onto Step 2 – the analysis.

Step 2: Why This Result

This analysis step can be as simple or as complex as you need it to be. For the purposes of the Fall Fun Check In, it was low hanging fruit with zero barriers to entry. This is corporate speak for the easiest thing on the list. We had not been hiking in a long time. The morning was cold, but the sky was so so blue. Perfect for getting in the woods and looking at the changing of the leaves.

I kept thinking that I needed to snap a pic to demonstrate the beauty I saw. The I thought about the intent of the list. It made me leave the phone in my pocket. But here is a photo I took a few years ago – this is such a beautiful season in North Carolina.

In summary: The answer to the question about why this is the result is that I picked something easy to get started, then knew I would be accountable to you to keep me honest about no devices.

Not every analysis will be about success, sometimes things go awry and you will need to make adjustments, which is next.

Step 3: Adjustment(s)

Considering I completed one item on the Fall Fun List, I consider this a success and don’t have a specific adjustment at this time. I do want to wave a caution flag at myself (and any other over-doers out there). Getting everything done quickly is not better – I want to make sure I am keeping the spirit and intent of this list – to be FUN.

Doing everything quickly, or even more dangerous to Sustainable Productivity – adding more to the list, is not the exercise here. Not an adjustment, just a watch out.

And now to close the session we set the time for the next check in.

Closing Ceremonies

My original plan was to do one Fall Fun Check In at the end of the list or December 1^st, but knowing I was reporting back was motivating. As I knock these items out I will report back along the way – it might be here or on social media. In the spirit of the closing of the Continuous Improvement check in, I will review each week on my own and share as I am able.

Boom – that’s it, easy peasy. While the intent of this weekly message was to brag about walking around in the woods, I did also want to review the Continuous Improvement steps as well. Maybe this is something that you could fold into your habit change?

If you try it out, I would love to hear how it goes. Reply to this post or contact me at Susan@SustainableSue.com.

By Susan Sanders|2022-10-15T08:54:01-04:00October 18th, 2022|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Guilty Pleasures

On podcast episode #33, my cohost and I talked about about guilty pleasures. While you can find out mine here, today I want to talk about the joy and fun that can come from these guilty pleasures.

I was So Damn Serious for a LONG TIME. And when I was unserious, I was worried about how I looked, who saw me, and what they thought. Or I felt left out because no one was planning fun for me.

Now as I am breathing down the neck of 50 years old, I am finding joy in things and not giving any damns about what the world thinks of them. Further, I am planning my own joy and fun because I know what that means to me. I have no guilt in my pleasure.

You must not ever stop being whimsical. And you must not, ever, give anyone else the responsibility for your life.
Mary Oliver

Of course we want to keep it in the bounds of what is legal, but in general, don’t yuck on someone else’s yum. If you don’t like that food, book, TV show, concert, or whatever – let that activity go and find your own guilty pleasure.

Try new things. You won’t know it brings you joy until you try. Canadian-American singer-songwriter Buffy Saint- Marie says it best: