It’s My Birthday!!!

I am posting this a day early because today is my birthday!! I am 48 years old!!

Genay and I talked all things celebratory this week on the podcast, and I hope you will take a listen.

Lordy Lordy, Susan’s Forty (eight).

But I also want to build on that discussion with you here.

Stop relying on other people to celebrate you. See if any of these scenarios resonate with you:

  1. You are mad no one got you the gift you wanted. The gift you hinted at for weeks!
  2. You feel alone because you get balloons for your kids every year on their birthday, but those assholes don’t even wish you happy birthday as you drive them around to activities all day.
  3. Your friend offered to buy lunch for you and did not insist after you turned her down.

Stop being a martyr and celebrate your damn self.

If that feels like a bridge too far, consider this – let others celebrate you. Using our above examples, let’s explore what this could look like.

  1. Buy the gift for yourself or send the link to your Special Someone and ask them to buy this for you.
  2. Tell your kids it is your birthday on the day it is your birthday. I use something like this, “Today is my birthday, I am accepting all well wishes. Wanna tell me happy birthday now or in 10 minutes?” In 10 minutes return to them expectantly.
  3. Let her buy you lunch!!!

Does this all seem desperate and needy? Let me offer a flip of a script for you – if you want to be celebrated, let people celebrate. Don’t make them read your mind. Especially your kids – can you imagine if they REALLY knew what you thought?

I can understand if you still want them to do all of this without the prompting. How is that working for you? This does not seem like the reality that you are living. You cannot get blood from a turnip. This does not mean they don’t love you. This does not mean you are unworthy of celebrating. This means they are not you. You can help them with expectations.

Or you can let go of those expectations. I do a little of both.

Celebrate your damn self. 

For my birthday, I bought myself a new sewing machine, took myself on a birthday bike ride (you can see more about that on Facebook or Instagram), and asked for a specific meal to be made for me. I pretended the meal the kids came over for was for me, not for Bixby’s Father’s Day celebration. I appreciate those who do reach out to celebrate with me, not focus on those that don’t. I acknowledge I’m sad about those missing from the celebration, but that is not a reflection on me. This is a Sustainably Productive birthday strategy that works for me.

What would make it oh so extra special is if you would share this episode of the podcast or this newsletter with a friend who you think might be interested.

Until next time, friends… Find the connection that helps create a life that you don’t need to escape.

By |2022-09-18T10:01:25-04:00June 20th, 2022|Mental Well-being|0 Comments

Podcast: Planning that does not suck your soul

A couple weeks ago I was planning for the June – July – August quarter. As usual I identified one thing in each dimension of Sustainable Productivity to focus on. That means one thing for Health and Fitness, one thing for Mental Well-being, and  one thing for Environmental Surroundings.

I broke it down into an action that I could do daily and wrote the goal to be able to say yes or no that it was done (all the better to check that box in the habit tracker. This was fine for the Mental Well-being and Environmental Surroundings dimensions.

Then I got to the Health and Fitness dimension.

I literally had 5 hours per day. FIVE.

Sure, it sounded fun today, but after a couple weeks it would certainly suck my soul.

I had to coach myself up a bit and return to the two Sustainable Productivity questions:

  1. Is this productive – am I getting the result I want?
  2. Is this sustainable – can I continue lifelong if I want?

The clear answer to both of these questions was no – a laughable no. Not a shaming laugh, but a, “Wow, do I slide back into old, bad habits quick?!” laugh.

In the podcast this week Genay and I talk about getting realistic about planning, which is of course the root of Sustainable Productivity. You can listen here or anywhere you get your podcasts.

As I wrap up this post, I want to ask if you would share the podcast or these posts with someone you think would relate. I often get people telling me to let them know how they can help me grow as a writer, speaker, and podcaster. Share, share, share. The most common way podcasts of our size grow is word of mouth. Recommending Sustainable Sue or Conscious Contact to someone would mean the world to me. Thank you!!

By |2022-06-07T09:48:48-04:00June 14th, 2022|Sustainable Productivity|0 Comments

Podcast: Is it Time for Recovery?

Hot take alert!

We all have the opportunity to be in recovery from something.

Recovery does not only mean abstinence from substances. You could be recovering from shopping addiction, perfectionism, need to be busy, social media, sex / porn or more. In our society we tend to pigeon hole recovery as something for people who cannot handle their liquor (or heroine or whatever substance).

Another hot take coming… It is not about the substance (or shopping, or feeling of importance at being so busy, or the porn). I think it is about feeling disconnected. The opposite of addition is not sobriety, it is connection.

On the podcast we talk about how recovery applies to each of our lives – both the woo woo and the practical, including resources that you might find practical.

One of my favorite “tools” as I am deciding whether something is part of recovery of part of disconnection is to ask myself this:

Will this move me towards or away from health?

Take a quiet moment to connect with yourself or have an honest conversation with an authentic trusted friend. Float the idea that something is not working for you. Peel off the layer to ask yourself / wonder out loud why you continue to do that or what it might be helping you disconnect from.

You may be surprised at what you find.

You can find the episode here. I would love to hear your thoughts on this theory of recovery. If you had a visceral aversion to these ideas, I would be interested to know that too. You can comment below or at susan@sustainablesue.com.

If these messages or the podcast is connecting with you, please share it with someone you think may be ready to hear it as well.

By |2022-05-31T15:52:47-04:00June 6th, 2022|Mental Well-being|0 Comments

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